Canadian lawyers are fed up with being the butt of renowned lawyer jokes and have launched a new public relations campaign to clean up their image, the Globe and Mail reported on February 7.
A Google search of “lawyer jokes” can return 2.8-million results, most of them equating lawyers with dishonesty, avarice and exploitation, the Globe notes.
Which makes us wonder: which profession is next in line to bear the brunt of popular jokes if the lawyers won’t play ball anymore?
Insurance brokers, actuaries and underwriters all seem like viable targets, although a Google search for “Insurance broker jokes” nets only 223,000 results. Here are a few making the rounds:
How brokerages really work
The producer, client service representative (CSR) and the principal of a brokerage are walking out to lunch together when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a genie comes out in a puff of smoke.
The Genie says: “I usually only grant three wishes, so I´ll give each of you just one.”
“Me first, me first!” says the CSR. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.”
Poof! He disappears.
The wide-eyed producer gapes in astonishment: "Me next, me next!” she says. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseur, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.”
Poof! She´s gone.
“OK, you´re up,” the Genie says to the brokerage’s principal.
“I want those two back in the office after lunch,” the principal says.
The moral of the story? Always let your boss have the first say.
The broker, the actuary and the direct writer
A direct agent, broker and actuary are all caught drinking smuggled liquor while staying in Saudi Arabia.
Under Saudi law, simply possessing alcohol is an offense punishable by death. However, the local prince is feeling generous that day, so he commutes the death sentence and instead sentences each to 20 lashes. After further thought, the prince does not want to offend the Canadian government, so he also grants each a wish to ease their suffering.
The broker is punished first because he drank the most.
“What is your wish?” asks the prince.
"I'd like to have a pillow on my back," replies the broker.
So a pillow is placed on his back, and the punishment begins. The pillow holds up for about 10 lashes, after which the broker screams out in pain.
The actuary had only a few drinks, so he is punished next.
"I'd like to have two pillows on my back," the actuary boldly requests.
So two pillows are placed on his back, and the punishment begins. The pillows hold up for about 15 lashes, after which the actuary screams out in pain.
Finally, the direct agent steps forward. Of the three, he was the only one who didn't drink. The Saudi prince is impressed by this, and grants him two wishes.
The agent then states: "Well, for my first wish, I want to receive 100 lashes, not 20."
"Your courage is impressive," states the prince. "And for your second wish?"
"Strap the actuary onto my back," the agent says.
Do you work with underwriters like this?
A broker and an underwriter are watching the 11 pm news. One story is about a man on a window ledge threatening to jump.
The underwriter says, “I’ll bet you fifty bucks he doesn’t jump.”
“I’ll take that bet.” the broker says.
A few minutes later the guy jumps. Shocked, the underwriter reaches for his wallet.
The broker waves him off. “Don’t worry about it,” he says. “It’s not fair. I saw it on the 6 o’clock news.”
“So did I,” the underwriter responds. “I just didn’t think it would happen twice.”
