Far Out Friday: 19 of the funniest auto insurance claims reports

Whether intentional or otherwise, motorists on the wrong end of an auto accident sometimes offer the most bizarre excuses

Insurance News

By Lyle Adriano

Typically, the business of handling auto accident claims is a serious matter—especially when lives are on the line.

The following testimonies, however, are anything but serious.

The quotes featured here were pulled from a list at LetterPile that collected 50 of the funniest or most bizarre excuses drivers have given to insurers and the authorities following car accidents.

Disclaimer: Do not use these lines should you ever find yourself involved in a car accident, unless you want Insurance Business to write a Far Out Friday feature starring you.

Purportedly genuine insurance claims:
 
  • Leaving home for work I drove out of my drive and straight into a bus; the bus was five minutes early.
  • I was knocked out as a result of the collision and was taken to hospital where I sustained serious injuries.
  • I don't know who was to blame for the accident; I wasn't looking.

Quotes related to pedestrians:
 
  • The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.
  • The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again.
  • The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

On stationary objects:
 
  • I collided with a stationary tree.
  • The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end.
  • I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

Lines said to traffic patrol officers:
 
  • I'm sorry officer for speeding, but without my glasses I can't hardly see the speedometer.
  • Sorry, Officer, I know I was speeding, but I was trying to get to the gas station in a hurry before I ran out of gas.
  • My wife ran off with a state policeman and when I saw your flashing lights I didn't stop because for a second, I thought you might be the trooper who is trying to bring her back to me.

Animal-related flubs:
 
  • A cow wandered into my car. I was afterwards informed that the cow was half-witted.
  • In attempting to kill a fly I drove into a telegraph pole.

Attempts to deflect responsibility:
 
  • I left my car unattended for a minute and, whether by accident or design, it ran away.
  • An Invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
  • To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the pedestrian.
  • I consider neither vehicle to blame, but if either was to blame it was the other one.

Related stories:
These 10 states have the worst drivers in the country: Report
Agent trade group criticizes new federal definition of auto insurance affordability
 

Keep up with the latest news and events

Join our mailing list, it’s free!